Answer: You have lousy self-motivation skills!
Here are the six steps to fixing that:
1 – Focus on the pain of inaction (like embarrassment, joint pain, self-esteem or letting down your family) and the pleasures of success (hotter sex, feeling pride, confidence and energy for adventures)
2 – Pain motivates faster (You WILL move away from an oncoming bus). If you let yourself FEEL it – it will move you towards your goals.
3 – You probably avoid thinking about consequences much because of LEARNED HELPLESSNESS – the belief that you probably won’t succeed anyway so why beat yourself up or get your hopes up. Learn to let that go.
4 – When you HAVE felt motivated you probably tried and sporadically exercised — but didn’t keep it up. You need consistency.
5 – For consistency you need the same MATURITY regarding exercise as you do your job. You don’t blow off your job because you are “too tired or busy” to work. Your exercise mentality must be EXACTLY the same.
6 – Maturity comes from consistently associating exercise with pain/pleasure, belief in yourself, fun, great relationships, social possibilities and a part of your very self-identity.
Let me explain:
A better question than “why can’t I get motivated” is “HOW can I get motivated to exercise?” The quality of the questions we ask determines the quality of our answers and “why can’t I” presupposes failure. Shifting that belief is a good first step.
That said, the first principle of motivation is that it is to avoid pain or chase pleasure. Pleasure is lovely as an ideal and for long-term success — but pain tends to be more immediately motivating. If a bus is about to hit you – you WILL move!
Unless you are suffering from learned helplessness. That’s the belief that since you have failed so many times in the past you believe you are just going to fail again anyway so what’s the point of getting your hopes up? And like a helpless waif tied to a railroad track by a mustachioed villain in an old movie you look away and try to blot out the oncoming train by ignoring it.
So when you really surrender into the pressure and overwhelm of the negative consequences of feeling unhealthy, joints aching, embarrassment, prejudice in the work world, being too ashamed to date, looking fat in your clothes, your spouse no longer being attracted to you, a self-esteem that is in the toilet, or deeply imagining what the imminent diabetes, heart problems and cancer feel like — do you let it move you to act or just suppress those feelings because “what’s the point?”
You should feel them and let them move you. When you have you probably got off the couch and exercised for a day or two, or a week or two – maybe even a month or two before you petered out.
So that’s the next and most important challenge: How to you keep up the exercise CONSISTENTLY? One: Develop the same level of maturity regarding exercise as you have with your job. You don’t blow off your job because there are consequences. And a mature exerciser doesn’t blow off exercising for exactly the same reason.
Maturity comes from frustration and doing what you NEED to do over what you just WANT so you can have what you want MOST long term! It comes from being real with yourself consistently, believing in yourself consistently, finding things to enjoy about exercise consistently, associating exercise with enjoyable adventures to anticipate in life and associating exercise with great relationships and social possibilities and making exercise a part of your self-identity.
So how to develop those kinds of traits, beliefs, skills and values? Well, it doesn’t happen overnight. You need good role models, good coaching and the ability to change a lifetime of habits in your deep subconscious mind. That means either YEARS of hard work and practice along with a lot of failures and getting back up and dusting yourself off again — or just MONTHS of using the tool of hypnosis with a qualified mentor to make it faster, easier and more likely you will succeed.
Call Richmond Hypnosis Center today for your free screening to find out if hypnosis is right for you.
RHC Owner Larry Volz has been helping people lose weight, quit smoking and reduce stress for over a decade and a half; trained or supervised over 200 hypnotists nationwide; appeared on national and international television and is widely regarded as an expert in emotional mastery and hypnosis. Video testimonials available on our website.
Richmond Hypnosis Center
4100 Brook Rd. Suite B
Richmond, VA 23225